Jul 9 2010

At Home

The Mehserle verdict came down yesterday, and as expected, there was some violence in Oakland—although the majority of the protests were peaceful.

Officials said the main instigators appeared to be organized ‘anarchist’ agitators wearing black clothing and hoods. Many of the most aggressive demonstrators smashing the windows of banks and shops were white.

So those people are obviously real winners. Most of them probably don’t even live in Oakland, and couldn’t care less about the Mehserle case: they just want to go out looting.

But as for us, we’re at home getting to know little Davy. So far it’s been a pleasure watching Robin absorb the fact of his new little brother:

He’s nice with the baby, quick to give him kisses and pats, and when we’re nursing he likes to come sit by us and chat with me. I encourage him to tell Davy all about choo-choos, which he does quite happily. Robin, I think, is amazingly good at adjusting to changes: he took the move to the new house in stride, and it looks like he’s accepted Davy just as easily.

We’ve taken a few outings together as a family, with the boys each in their separate carseats, but yesterday when we were making a quick trip to a pharmacy we left Davy napping at home with his Pappy. As we started the car Robin pointed over to the empty carseat, and said “Baby! Baby!” with some alarm. We had to assure him that we hadn’t forgotten the baby!

As for Davy, it’s hard to get much of a sense of his personality, but he’s got his baby skills down. He’s great at nursing, he can get his fingers directly into his mouth, and he likes to cuddle. A-plus baby!


Jul 7 2010

The Birth Story

This post is for my mom friends, who are naturally the people most likely to be interested in the grisly details of childbirth. Men, the infirm, and those of delicate sensibility might want to stop reading now. Just as a cautionary example, this post includes a discussion of meconium—that’s when the baby poops inside your uterus. If this little bit of vocabulary disgusts you, then you probably shouldn’t read any farther.

Continue reading


Jul 7 2010

There’s a Baby! There’s a Baby!

Hello World!

David Luke Phillips was born at 3:15 on Tuesday, 7/6/2010, weighing 6 pounds 11 ounces and measuring 19 inches from top to toe.

Check out this view from our delivery room! Yes, that is the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance.

I might write up all the grisly details of the birth story later, but the important points are that I had a successful VBAC (with the aid of a wonderful, beautiful epidural that left me able to experience the contractions but not be overwhelmed by them, and to retain almost complete muscle control over my lower body) and that Davy is doing just fine by every measure.

Most notably, he’s a champ at nursing. I got to put him to the breast right away, and he latched straight on. He’s been nursing every few hours since. Sam thinks it’s because I know what I’m doing now, and I’m sure that’s a factor, but I think it’s mostly that the baby knows what he’s doing. There are some studies that seem to indicate that babies born vaginally are better at nursing, so maybe that’s a piece of it too.

I think mostly because the feeding is going so well, meeting Davy has been a much easier and more peaceful experience than caring for Robin was in those first days. I remember crying every day for a week after Robin was born, just from stress and overwhelm. With Davy, though, I’m calm and happy—happy he’s finally here, happy he’s such a great baby, looking forward to bringing him home and seeing him bond with the rest of the family. Yay, we have a baby!


Jul 5 2010

Still No Baby

Well, he didn’t come on the 4th.

I know due dates aren’t like UPS shipping estimates, and babies don’t come with tracking numbers (although when I mentioned this to my mom, she said “They should get on that!”)—but to be honest, all my expectations were focused on Davy coming early. Given how supremely close to bursting I was feeling, it seemed impossible that he could stay in there a full 40 weeks.

Apparently not only was that possible, but the Internet assures me that it’s in fact possible he’ll stay in for 41 or 42. If I truly believed this, I would cry: the idea of enduring these “prelabor” contractions on top of the usual full-term pregnancy discomforts for two more weeks is so awful that my mind basically refuses to accept it. And then I need to stop and remind myself, again, that it’s far from the worst thing in the world, and as long as Davy is thriving then I can manage whatever I need to manage.

But if we do go to 42 weeks, I’ll be faced with a real problem: the hospital will almost certainly want to intervene at that point, because past 42 weeks there are risks to the baby from remaining in utero. Many doctors want to induce at 40 or 41 weeks, but I’ve picked a hippie-crunchy-friendly hospital where I’m actually attended by midwives rather than doctors, and they tend to be more hands-off about these things. The problem is that I’m a poor candidate for induction because I’ve had a prior c-section, and the drugs they use for induction would increase the risk of my uterine scar tearing open. So although my midwife did seem willing to contemplate the possibility of induction when I talked to her, I’m not entirely sure that they wouldn’t end up just scheduling me for another c-section instead. I really don’t want that: Sam and I are probably going to want a third child, and each c-section you have increases the risks of complications in subsequent pregnancies. Induction itself also increases the risk that labor would end in a section.

Again, c-section is not the worst thing in the world, and I guess I may just have to dwell on that for a while. But I really hope Davy gets a move on—not just because I want him out of me now but because if he doesn’t come out on his own, none of my choices are great.


Jul 4 2010

Pregnancy Rap

I, um, may be losing my mind.

by MC Big Belly

Already had one, now I’m going for two
Like a library book, I’m overdue
Knocked up, expectant, gravid
Enceinte, with child, rabid
For the babies I mean
Like a wolverine
Gonna hit that labor with a frenzy
Doctor gonna wait and then see
I don’t need to be induced
Mama’s got the juice
You know you heard it from the emcee!


Jul 4 2010

What’s for Dinner

CRUSTS OF STALE BREAD AND OUR OWN SALTY TEARS. I’m on strike until this baby gets out of me!

No, I guess we still need to eat. Plus we have a houseguest—Robin’s Pappy has come up to stay with us, in hopes of being able to watch Robin when I go into labor—if I go into labor, I’m starting to fear I might stay like this forever—and I wouldn’t want him to starve. Also, yesterday we picked up a box full of cherries, strawberries, baby spinach, lettuce, carrots, kale, celery, broccoli, and zucchini, so there’s that.

It’s the fourth of July today, so I guess we’ll grill some burgers. I’ll make glazed carrots to go on the side. And I’d do something fancy with the cherries except that we’ve already eaten most of them—and I bought a carrot cake two days ago, so we should really finish that instead. As the saying goes, “It’s as American as carrot cake!” Right?

Tomorrow we’ll have spaghetti carbonara (I bought some guanciale at the San Francisco Ferry Building) and a salad. Then starting Tuesday we can work on some of the leftovers from last week—I have a good amount of red beans and rice in the fridge, and also some baked chicken. At some point I’ll also make zucchini fritters. I’ll probably use the kale and the spinach in a batch of bulgur salad with salami and greens; that’ll be a good lunch at least.


Jul 2 2010

Also, That Other Thing

Another thing making us uncomfortable right now is that a verdict is expected soon in the trial of Johannes Mehserle, and it’s pretty much assumed that there will be riots in Oakland if he’s acquitted. And specifically the violence may well center around Fruitvale—as I mentioned before, our house is on the border of that neighborhood. So, we’re a bit tense.

The police are bracing for riots. So are the local shopkeepers. I don’t want to freak anyone out (Mom, don’t freak out) by mentioning this; I just thought it would be worse if the riots actually do happen and you hear about it on the news or something first. It’s extremely unlikely that we would be affected by any violence, anyway: the BART station where protests will be centered is a mile and a half from our house, and most of those blocks are quiet residential ones. For myself, I hope Mehserle is convicted at least of voluntary manslaughter, and obviously we’re all hoping that any protests organized after the verdict remain peaceful ones.


Jul 2 2010

Due Date

Still pregnant dear God how is this even possible

I’ve been having intermittent Braxton-Hicks contractions for the past few days, which are doing a number on me psychologically, since I am so ready to be done with pregnancy that I get excited (and then crushingly disappointed) with each fresh onset of false labor. I have backache, foot and leg pain, various and diverse discomforts in the belly and pelvis, and any kind of movement I make—standing up, lying down, holding still in one position for too long—seems to hurt some part of my body. In fact I’m so much more physically uncomfortable than I was at this stage with Robin that I’m wondering if the extra three years in age has made some kind of crucial difference: am I old now? Is that it?

It helped a little that I went to the doctor today, and while they were monitoring Davy (everything’s fine) I happened to overhear a couple of other women who were in the antenatal testing unit for problems much more serious than my own velamentous placenta. It really is a reminder that I should be grateful for my good health. And I am, truly. But I would like to have my baby soon. In fact now would be great.

Some part of my brain is convinced that Davy is waiting until the 4th of July, so that he can be greeted with fireworks. I guess that would be kind of cool, huh?


Jun 28 2010

Mi Pueblo

So I went around the supermarket snapping pictures like a gawking tourist so that I could bring you a post on Mi Pueblo, our local Hispanic supermarket.

I guess I should start by noting that, though you’d never know it by looking at me, my great-grandmother was born and raised in Mexico. Not much of Mexican culture got passed down to me—in fact, pretty much none of it got passed down to me—but I suppose my fondness for the Latinos may be to some degree self-congratulatory. In any case I seem to gravitate to Hispanic neighborhoods; the first place I lived in San Francisco was the Mission, and now here in Oakland we’ve settled just on the border of Fruitvale.

Now I’m going to go off on a tangent, but it’s something that’s been knocking around my head lately: I don’t understand the hostility against Hispanic immigrants that’s erupting so virulently in Arizona and other places. It’s not just that I don’t agree with it; I don’t understand where it’s coming from. Hispanic people make great neighbors! They’re hard-working, family-oriented people, and in their areas they create the infrastructure—restaurants, produce markets, bars, street vendors and entertainers—that makes for a great, livable neighborhood.

The contrast between Fruitvale and the Coliseum area of Oakland—essentially, the contrast between the barrio and the ghetto—is stunning to me, and I haven’t fully wrapped my head around it. In the poorest Mexican neighborhoods (and not all of Fruitvale is very poor, but some of it is), you still have commerce and vitality and cultural vibrancy. In the poorest black neighborhoods, there’s nothing. No restaurants, no bars, no grocery stores, no street life other than groups of young men standing around on corners. Block after block of bombed-out houses and occasionally someone sitting on the front steps, staring with an empty face at whatever passes by. I think it must have a lot to do with the generations of institutionalized assault on the African-American family? And I should say quickly that the majority of Oakland’s black population isn’t represented by the city’s worst blocks; mostly the black people of Oakland, like the white people of Oakland, are living in a patchwork of diverse neighborhoods that vary by income. Still, because Fruitvale and the Coliseum area are right next to each other, the contrast between them is really, really striking, and I wish I better understood the cultural and socioeconomic forces that created one neighborhood versus the other. To the uneducated eye, the most apparent difference is that in Fruitvale people are working.

And shopping! Which is why in Fruitvale we have this:

Behind that yellow barricade is where the magic chickens happen. Almost every day they’re roasting pollo asada on the barbeque, and for a little under ten bucks you can take home a whole chicken along with some salsa and a packet of tortillas.

Inside, it’s like a party! There’s music! There’s streamers! People are happy and smiling! Let’s all get some groceries now! Yay!

You want salsa? We got salsa.

You want peppers? Dude, this isn’t even half the peppers. Please note also that you can buy your cactus with the spines still on, or you can go around to where one of the store employees is deftly de-spining them with a great big knife that might be a machete someday if it drinks its milk. I assume you pay a little extra for the cleaned cactus, but it’s probably worth it.

Someday I’m going to make my own tortillas!

This is only a small glimpse of the sweets case in the panaderia. There’s also a savory case, where they sell soft fresh-baked loaves, and rounds of cheesy jalapeño bread. People are always lined up to get the fresh bread.

Against the other wall there’s a “deli” that’s more like a whole restaurant:

They also have meat, and seafood, and a whole case of fresh cheeses, but at some point I started to get embarrassed about taking pictures, so this is all you get. Mi Pueblo! What a great place!


Jun 26 2010

What’s for Dinner

So we’re loving our new CSA box from J&P Organics. For two-thirds the price we were paying in San Francisco, we’re getting equally hefty boxes stuffed with beautiful veggies. This morning our box held a pint of beautiful cherries (yesss), two pints of jewel-like strawberries, four oranges, a bunch of carrots, a head of lettuce, a bunch of kale (Ah…my old friend…), three smallish heads of broccoli, four avocados (NUM!), five zucchinis, and eight little red potatoes.

I also have a cauliflower left over from last week, so tonight we’ll have cauliflower cheese and a big salad incorporating the broccoli and carrots, and maybe some bacon. Tomorrow night I’ll make the avocados into guacamole, and we’ll pick up chips and a roasted chicken from the awesome Mexican supermarket a few blocks done, Mi Pueblo. Mi Pueblo really deserves its own post, with pictures, so I’ll leave it at that for now. Tomorrow I also want to make one of the pints of strawberries into strawberry bread, because strawberries go off really quickly and I’m not sure that even Robin can polish off two pints in two days. Other than that we’ll eat all the fruit straight.

Monday we’ll have apricot-glazed chicken breasts with steamed and buttered zucchini on the side. We generally have leftovers from the apricot chicken recipe, so on Tuesday I’ll put those into a quick-and-easy rice dish with some sauteed onion, and maybe some more of the zucchini. Then Wednesday I’ll use the potatoes and kale in a pot of caldo verde. Thursday, I don’t know, maybe Louisiana-style red beans and rice. Then Friday will be for leftovers.