Play, Again
Yesterday at the park there was another little boy who Robin was delighted to play with, except this boy’s mother kept yelling at him the moment he stepped off the paved areas. “No, Javier! It’s dirty!” Over and over, the moment the kids wandered into the sandbox or under the trees: “No, Javier! Get back over there! It’s dirty!” I try not to be judgy about other moms, but I was pretty boggled by this—it’s not like the kid was wearing his Sunday best or anything: he was in gray sweats. And Robin was obviously confused every time his playmate got reprimanded. We’d brought one of his trucks, and he really wanted to share it with the other boy—who was quite interested—but of course what the boys wanted to do with the truck was run it through the sand, an impulse which seemed to horrify the other mom. Eventually I felt so bad about what was going on that we left the park.
This morning the New York Times has another article on the endangered activity of play, which reminded me of yesterday’s sad scene. But also one factoid jumped out at me: “Only one in five children live within walking distance (a half-mile) of a park or playground, according to a 2010 report by the federal Centers for Disease Control.”
We live three quarters of a mile from the park, and now that the rain has cleared up we walk there almost every day. It’s a bit long for Robin (he’s quite tired by the time we get home), but he can and does walk it. In fact he’s eager to: sometimes he comes up to me with his shoes in hand, saying brightly “Take a walk!” I think car culture has really warped people’s ideas about what “walking distance” is.
Anyway, it’s just sad that the conversation is starting from this crazy point, a point where elementary schools have eliminated recess, and doctors are handing out 75-page instructional manuals on how to play, and little boys have mothers who won’t even let them run a truck through a sandbox.
January 6th, 2011 at 1:29 pm
The parks thing is a real problem unfortunately, because distance is seldom the main factor. We live well under half a mile from a park, which I can barely walk to – never mind the kids – because there’s a fast multi-lane road between us and it isn’t really suitable for crossing by pedestrians.
Perhaps more relevantly still, from about the age of five I used to play mostly by myself or with my peers. Very seldom was an adult even present. Now, I strongly suspect social services would become involved if a parent let a six year old wander freely through the streets. I offered Bea exactly this opportunity and she was too conditioned against the idea to take me up on it until she was eight.
From my perspective it’s all about risk. Parents have become so risk-averse that they’re not prepared to accept any. And it’s not really considered acceptable to say “I accept a very small risk that my daughter may be hit by a truck if it means she has the freedom to explore and experience the world she lives in”. In reality, it’s less risk than grown-ups take every day.
January 6th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Yeah, I think your analysis is spot on. Have you seen this article/map? It’s from your side of the pond but the situation is pretty much exactly the same here.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-462091/How-children-lost-right-roam-generations.html
The other line that jumped out at me from the NYT piece was “The average 3-year-old can pick up an iPhone and expertly scroll through the menu of apps, but how many 7-year-olds can organize a kickball game with the neighborhood kids?” Leaving aside the weird technology-must-be-the-culprit assumption, which I think is off-base, my answer to the question is: None. None that I know of, anyway, because the “neighborhood kids” are not outside, at least not out on the sidewalks. They might each be out in their own backyards, but there’s no way for them to ever meet each other unless they happen to go to the same school or have scheduled activities together. There would never, ever be enough children just hanging out to spontaneously organize a kickball game. It just can’t happen.
January 7th, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Such a sad story! Though it is hopeful to find many people out there spouting their belief in children’s play after the NYTimes article. It is in fact the number 1 most emailed article currently! I wonder what can be done about running into these types of parents. I suppose encouraging as much possible play within their comfort. Or maybe striking up a conversation about the news article and the benefits of play. Are you familiar with KaBOOM or Free Range Kids? They both provide great ideas/resources.
January 7th, 2011 at 3:42 pm
I am a fan of the Free Range Kids philosophy, but hadn’t seen KaBOOM — thanks for the link!