Love
I wrote a little while ago about how maternal love doesn’t come immediately, all at once. It grows day by day.
The crazy thing is that it hasn’t stopped yet. I loved that baby enough to die for him months ago. I love him even more today. It staggers me. I was looking at him tonight, staggered by love, thinking: the love I have for him, per square inch, is crazy! Crazy! I love his elbows! I love the corner of his nose! I love the crease at the base of his thumb! I love every little bit of this baby, more than truffles, more than rare stamps, more than anything. When will it stop? It’s just nuts.
March 1st, 2008 at 8:52 am
Here’s the thing — it will NEVER stop, I don’t think. Maybe it slows down later, but I can tell you for sure that it won’t have stopped by the time he’s 3 or 4.
I’ve found maternal love very difficult to write about, personally. There’s nothing you can say that hasn’t already been said, but worse there’s nothing you can write that captures the depth of your feeling.
March 1st, 2008 at 8:55 am
Oh, also — just wait until he tells you that HE loves YOU. And then wait until he says it when you’re certain he knows what it means. If it staggers you now, then….then….crap. See words are failing me.
March 4th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
A woman on the bus told me the same thing! “Just wait until he puts his hand on your cheek and says ‘I *love* you, Mommy'”. Definitely something to look forward to!
March 4th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
“I think you’re the greatest mommy in the *whole world*.”
[Words that were very nice to hear recently, along with frequent “I love you”s…]
March 4th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
nawwwwwww!