Portrait of the Artist as a Young Lizard Monster

So the other afternoon I was walking to Robin’s classroom to pick him up, and I saw a bunch of moms staring and pointing at a display in the hallway. “What is that about,” one said. So I looked:


Oh, it’s a nice display of the kids’ artwork. “Self-portraits” in construction paper, a very sweet array of pink and beige and brown and Simpsons-yellow faces, and it even looks like a couple of the kids did themselves as ninja turtles, ha ha…

…wait, that one’s not a ninja turtle…


Aaaaaand I knew without even checking the artist’s signature that it was my kid who created the one horrifying visage in the otherwise sweet and wholesome display, the one that actually shocked other moms when they saw it. I’m so proud.

Lately Robin has been telling us that when he grows up, he’s going to create a mutagen to turn himself into a lizard. I’m not discouraging this. I feel that “mad scientist” is actually not such a bad career path, so long as he avoids volcano bases and English spies, and files early for patents. I mean, it’s a pretty versatile skill set. Even if the lizard thing doesn’t work out.

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