Shannon Phillips

Did you know that the Vikings liked to play the dozens? They had this great tradition of the senna, or insult contest, many of which actually got recorded for posterity as part of the Norse sagas. So the next time you need a snappy comeback, consider one of these:

“It is my pleasure to fight with distinction while you kiss your bondwomen by the fire.”

“It is strange that you dare to come in an army with good men, you who have sucked the blood of many cold corpses.”

“You were gelded by the giant’s daughters on Thrasness.”

“Do you remember when you were a mare with the stallion Grani and I rode you at full speed on Bravoll? Afterward you were the goatherd of the giant Golnir.”

“I sired nine wolves on you at Laganess, and I was the father of them all.”

I particularly like that last one, for its combination of sexual intimidation and sheer WTF-ery. A surefire put-down for any situation!