A Cutting Dilemma
Salon recently ran an extremely affecting story from a young Jewish/Protestant couple struggling with the question of whether or not to circumcise their son. The couple in the article suffers an unbelievable amount of pressure from their families, and reading their story, I was once again struck with gratitude for our extremely supportive families.
Circumcision is a vexed question, though, even for Sam and me, who don’t have the cultural/religious dimension to deal with. On the one hand, if Junior does end up being of the male persuasion, maybe it would be better for him to “look like Daddy”. And there do seem to be some health benefits to circumcision.
On the other hand, I find myself swayed by the logic Dan Savage put forward in his (excellent) book, The Kid. Botched circumcisions are rare, but they happen, and why take the risk of castrating your child in a medically unnecessary procedure?
So, I think we’re leaning against circumcision.
January 27th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Yeah, this is a big ol’ can of worms when you get into a room with a group of parents. For me, reading a description of the procedure was enough to make up my mind. That and talking to a friend who regretted it after she witnessed the circumcision of her second son. (Her first was whisked away in the hospital, so she wasn’t there for it.)
January 27th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Circumcision really is a big can of worms but it need not be. I am a L&D nurse and my husband is a doctor. We did not circumcise our sons. We both have seen how horrible the procedure looks during (and after)and the medical benefits just stack up. Plus, there is always a risk of having a problme related to the circumcision. We just didn’t feel we could take that chance. We’ve never had any health issues with our two boys or any problems with the differences of appearance between them and their dad. It’s just one of those things that have never been a big issue around our house.
I feel for those parents who have different religous beliefs and struggle with the decision to circumcise or not. But from what I understand, there is a different religious ceremony Jewish parents can opt for instead of the traditional bris. It seems best to allow the child to decide for himself when he’s old enough anyway.
Here is a great site from a non-profit that explains myths surrounding circumcision: http://nocircpa.org/4642.html
This site has a video of an actual circumcision but it makes me too sad to watch it: http://intact.ca/vidintro.htm
So good luck in your decision. Research all the pros and cons and ask many questions before you decide.
You can always circumcise in the future if in the rare event of a problem but you can’t “un”circumcise once it’s done or undo any problems associated with a botched job.
Good luck to you and your family!
January 28th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Circumcision really is a big can of worms but it need not be.
Elizabeth, I think that people who struggle with that decision aren’t struggling simply because they’re unaware of the factors you mention. Thoughtful, loving people can reach different conclusions here — it’s just not simple.
Shannon, luckily I think this one falls into the category of “difficult but no-lose decisions”. Kid will be fine either way, it’s the parents who seem to really suffer.
Gee, at least Bizzy and I are avoiding the whole “looking like Daddy” factor…
February 9th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Not that I know anything about penises, but….
A circumcised man once delivered a long, impassioned lecture to me on the horror and unfairness of circumcision. He decided to blame it on mothers who “don’t want to deal with foreskins,” and it was kind of funny to me that he seemed to consider this to be the most pressing issue facing the world today, but even so, it was kind of sad when he described having sex with an uncircumcised Swedish guy–“I had his in one hand and mine in the other and I thought, wow–his actually works right!”