“Hi,” says the unicorn kindly. “What brings you to see me today?”<\/p>\n
“Um,” says Mary, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She knows she needs to get those white bumps on her labia looked at, and the free clinic has good reviews on Yelp and is, you know, free<\/em>, but… “Are—are you a doctor?”<\/p>\n “Nurse practitioner, actually,” the unicorn says. He doesn\u2019t sound offended, but it\u2019s hard to read an expression in those swirling opalescent eyes. “Don\u2019t worry, I\u2019ve been working here for years. I know it\u2019s embarrassing but I promise that whatever your questions are, they aren\u2019t stupid and they won\u2019t shock me.”<\/p>\n “I\u2019m not a virgin,” Mary blurts out.<\/p>\n “Okay, that\u2019s good, let\u2019s talk about your sexual history. When did you first become sexually active?”<\/p>\n “No, I mean, I thought—” Mary gestures helplessly towards the spiral horn. The lighting in the clinic is fluorescent and harsh, but the unicorn sheds a soft radiance that seems to concentrate most brightly along the length of his horn. “You know. Unicorns and, and virgins?”<\/p>\n “Oh,” he says. “No, actually, I’m much more interested in STD transmission vectors among vulnerable populations. But if you\u2019d be more comfortable talking to a human staffer, I can fetch another nurse.”<\/p>\n Mary pauses, takes a deep breath. “No,” she says. “It\u2019s fine. I guess the, um, symptoms first showed up about a week ago…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “Hi,” says the unicorn kindly. “What brings you to see me today?” “Um,” says Mary, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She knows she needs to get those white bumps on her labia looked at, and the free clinic has good reviews on Yelp and is, you know, free, but… “Are—are you a doctor?” “Nurse practitioner, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[19],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3434"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3434"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3436,"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3434\/revisions\/3436"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/shannon.users.sonic.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}